1. “The average man don’t like trouble and danger.”
2. “It’s as mild as goose-milk.”
3. “or else it wouldn’t be truthful and square for the others.”
4. “It’s lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky, up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made, or only just happened- Jim he allowed they was made, but I allowed they happened; I judged it would have took too long to make so many.”
5. “This ain’t no thirty-seven year job, this is a thirty-eight year job, Tom Sawyer.”
6. “So the king went all through the crowd with his hat swabbing his eyes, and blessing the people and praising them and thanking them for being so good to the poor pirates away off there; and every little while the prettiest kind of girls, with the tears running down their cheeks, would up and ask him would he let them kiss him for to remember him by; and he always done it; and some of them he hugged and kissed as many as five or six times—and he was invited to stay a week; and everybody wanted him to live in their houses, and said they’d think it was an honor; but he said as this was the last day of the camp-meeting he couldn’t do no good, and besides he was in a sweat to get to the Indian Ocean right off and go to work on the pirates. When”
7. “Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.”
8. “If you notice, most folks don’t go to church only when they’ve got to; but a hog is different.”
9. “The waves most washed me off the raft sometimes,”
10. “He was sunshine most always-I mean he made it seem like good weather.”
11. “I don’t want no better book than what your face is.”
12. “I don’t want no better book than what your face is.”
13. “He told me what it was, and I see in a minute it was worth fifteen of mine for style, and would make Jim just as free a man as mine would, and maybe get us all killed besides.”
14. “They say I work for the angels they never said I was one”
15. “It would ’a’ been a miserable business to have any unfriendliness on the raft; for what you want, above all things, on a raft, is for everybody to be satisfied, and feel right and kind towards the others.”
16. “I felt good and all washed clean of sin for the first time I had ever felt so in my life, and I knowed I could pray now.”
17. “I went right along, not fixing up any particular plan, but just trusting to Providence to put the right words in my mouth when the time come; for I’d noticed that Providence always did put the right words in my mouth if I left it alone.”
18. “If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!.”
19. “All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they’re a mighty ornery lot. It’s the way they’re raised.”
20. “That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.”
21. “PERSONS attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. B”
22. “He had been drunk over in town, and laid in the gutter all night, and he was a sight to look at. A body would a thought he was Adam, he was just all mud.”
23. “If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn’t have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.” ― Andy Borowitz
24. “Now we’ll start this band of robbers and call it Tom Sawyer’s gang. Everybody that wants to join has got to take an oath, and write his name in blood.”
25. “I knowed very well why they wouldn’t come. It was because my heart warn’t right; it was because I warn’t square; it was because I was playing double.”
26. “it don’t make no diference whether you do right or wrong, a person’s conscience ain’t got no sense, and just goes for him anyway. If I had a yaller dog that didn’t know no more than a person’s conscience does I would pison him. It takes up more room than all the rest of a person’s insides, and yet ain’t no good, nohow.”
27. “Then she told me all about the bad place, and said I wished I was there. She got mad, then, but I didn’t mean no harm. All I wanted was to go somewheres, all I wanted was a change, I warn’t particular.”
28. “Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you’s gwyne to git well agin.”
29. “Jim said that bees won’t sting idiots, but I didn’t believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn’t sting me.”
30. “So then I didn’t care no more about him, because I don’t take no stock in dead people.”
31. “We all go through a challenge in life because without a challenge there’d be no reason to keep going toward your future.”
32. “Your newspapers call you a brave people so much that you think you are braver than any other people – whereas you’re just as brave, and no braver.”
33. “Those huckleberries in the National League don’t want to do anything that the American League wants to do.” ― Phil Rizzuto
34. “I knowed very well why [the words] wouldn’t come. It was because my heart warn’t right; it was because I warn’t square; it was because I was playing double. I was letting on to give up sin, but away inside of me I was holding on to the biggest one of all.”
35. “Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn’t let on.”
36. “Yes—en I’s rich now, come to look at it. I owns myself, en I’s wuth eight hund’d dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn’ want no mo’.”
37. “You can’t pray a lie.”
38. “Look here, if you’re telling the truth you needn’t be afraid–nobody’ll hurt you.”
39. “it warn’t no time to be sentimentering.”
40. “Well, it made me sick to see it; and I was sorry for them poor pitiful rascals, it seemed like I couldn’t ever feel any hardness against them any more in the world. It was a dreadful thing to see. Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.”
41. “ain’t a-going to no more. But I reckon I got to light out for”
42. “it was as bright as glory, and you’d have a little glimpse of tree-tops a-plunging about away off yonder in the storm, hundreds of yards further than you could see before; dark as sin again in a second, and now you’d hear the thunder let go with an awful crash, and then go rumbling, grumbling, tumbling, down the sky towards the under side of the world, like rolling empty barrels down-stairs—where”
43. “To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin. That makes calamity of so long life.”
44. “Huckleberry was cordially hated and dreaded by all the mothers of the town because he was idle, and lawless, and vulgar, and bad – and because all their children admired him so, and delighted in his forbidden society, and wished they dared to be like him.”
45. “He said if he ever got out this time he wouldn’t ever be a prisoner again, not for a salary.”
46. “I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.”
47. “There ain’t no harm in a hound, nohow.”
48. “All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn.” ― Ernest Hemingway
49. “Confound it, it’s foolish, Tom”
50. “All right then, I’ll go to hell.”
51. “He had a dream and it shot him.”
52. “We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it’s efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read-”
53. “It made me so sick I most fell out of the tree. I ain’t agoing to tell all that happened – it would make me sick again if I was to do that. I wished I hadn’t ever come ashore that night, to see such things . . .”
54. “And she took snuff, too; of course that was all right, because she done it herself. Her”
55. “Stars and shadows ain’t good to see by.”
56. “If I never learnt nothing else out of pap, I learnt that the best way to get along with his kind of people is to let them have their own way.”
57. “There warn’t no home like a raft, after all. Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery, but a raft don’t. You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.”
58. “If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain’t sleepy – if you are anywheres where it won’t do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.”
59. “Well, then, says I, what’s the use you learning to do right, when it’s troublesome to do right and ain’t no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?”
60. “But it’s awluz jis’ so; people dat’s sot, stays sot; dey won’t look into noth’n’en fine it out f’r deyselves, en when you fine it out en tell um ’bout it, dey doan’ b’lieve you.”
61. “Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain’t that a big enough majority in any town?.”
62. “It’s the little things that smoothes people’s roads the most.”
63. “And so when I couldn’t stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.”
64. “The sky looks ever so deep when you lay down on your back in the moonshine; I never knowed it before.”
65. “It’s not as bad as it sounds.”
66. “You don’t know about me without you have read a book called “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,” but that ain’t no matter.”
67. “I actually got a crush on Anne Heche when I worked with her on Huckleberry Finn. It didn’t work out.” ― Elijah Wood
68. “I liked Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer, and that is the kind of character that I would like to have played. That would have been more in tune with who I really was.” ― Keith Thibodeaux
69. “Do I know you? I know you clear through. I was born and raised in the South, and I’ve lived in the North; so I know the average all around. The average man’s a coward.”
70. “It was a dreadful thing to see. Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.”
71. “I couldn’t bear to think about it; and yet, somehow, I couldn’t think about nothing else.”
72. “All kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out.”
73. “the king he allowed he would drop over to t’other village without any plan, but just trust in Providence to lead him the profitable way – meaning the devil, I reckon.”
74. “Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.”
75. “There warn’t anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn’t any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it’s cool. If you notice, most folks don’t go to church only when they’ve got to: but a hog is different.”
76. “Having faith is believing in something you just know ain’t true.”
77. “The pitifulest thing out is a mob; that’s what an army is–a mob; they don’t fight with courage that’s born in them, but with courage that’s borrowed from their mass, and from their officers. But a mob without any MAN at the head of it is BENEATH pitifulness.”
78. “I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful; and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.”
79. “It’s as mild as goose-milk.”
80. “I don’t believe in children’s books. I think after you’ve read Kidnapped, Treasure Island, and Huckleberry Finn, you’re ready for anything.” ― John Mortimer
81. “Well, if I ever struck anything like it, I’m a nigger. It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.”
82. “I haven’t the stature to critique one of our literature’s great novels, Tobias; and I’m not one of those who believe The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn needs critiquing for literary or social reasons.”
83. “There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.”
84. “a good deed ain’t ever forgot.”
85. “It don’t make no difference whether you do right or wrong, a person’s conscience ain’t got no sense, and just goes for him anyway.”
86. “What’s the use you learning to do right when it’s troublesome to do right and ain’t no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?”
87. “It’s so wrong when I pick up a new edition of Huckleberry Finn and I look at the last page and it doesn’t say, Yours truly, at the end.” ― Leslie Fiedler
88. “Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.”
89. “So there ain’t nothing more to write about, and I am rotten glad of it, because if I’d a knowed what a trouble it was to make a book I wouldn’t a tackled it and ain’t going to no more.”
90. “I was mighty down-hearted; so I made up my mind I wouldn’t ever go anear that house again, because I reckoned I was to blame, somehow.”
91. “It didn’t take me long to make up my mind that these liars warn’t no kings nor dukes at all, but just low-down humbugs and frauds.”
92. “I knowed he was white inside, and I reckoned he’d say what he did say – so it was all right, now, and I told Tom I was agoing for a doctor.”
93. “’I know what you’ll say. You’ll say it’s dirty Low-down business; but what if it is? – I’m low down; and I’m agoing to steal him, and I want you to keep mum and not let on. Will you?'”