35 Inspiring Ron Swanson Quotes To Live Life With Integrity
1. “If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.” ― Ron Swanson
2. “Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.” ― Ron Swanson
3. “One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.” ― Ron Swanson
4. “Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.” ― Ron Swanson
5. “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” ― Ron Swanson
6. “There has never been a sadness that can’t be cured by a breakfast food.” ― Ron Swanson
7. “It’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.” ― Ron Swanson
8. “Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous.” ― Ron Swanson
9. “I prefer quality over flash — that’s why I refuse to write my signature in cursive.” ― Ron Swanson
10. “I regret nothing. The end.” ― Ron Swanson
11. “Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.” ― Ron Swanson
12. “Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.” ― Ron Swanson
13. “There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.” ― Ron Swanson
14. “The only thing that’s important at the end of the day is what’s on your gravestone — Your name.” ― Ron Swanson
15. “I also think it’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.” ― Ron Swanson
16. “I’ll take that steak to go. Please and thank you.” ― Ron Swanson
17. “The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. ” ― Ron Swanson
18. “Saltwater will warp the wood, so keep your tears in you eyes where they belong.” ― Ron Swanson
19. “It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.” ― Ron Swanson
20. “I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.” ― Ron Swanson
21. “Sting like a bee, but do not float like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous.” ― Ron Swanson
22. “I’ve cried twice in my life. Once when I was 7 and hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li’l Sebastian had passed.” – Ron Swanson
23. “Put some alcohol in your mouth to block words from coming out.” ― Ron Swanson
24. “I like saying ‘No,’ it lowers their enthusiasm.” ― Ron Swanson
25. “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.” ― Ron Swanson
26. “Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness.” – Ron Swanson
27. “I was born ready. I’m Ron F*cking Swanson.” ― Ron Swanson
28. “Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are useless.” – Ron Swanson
29. “The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy.” ― Ron Swanson
30. “Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.” – Ron Swanson
31. “If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.” – Ron Swanson
32. “You chose a thankless job, you can’t be upset when nobody thanks you. Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness.” ― Ron Swanson
33. “I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.” – Ron Swanson
34. “There has never been a sadness that can’t be cured by a breakfast food.” ― Ron Swanson
35. “Strippers do nothing for me. But I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.” ― Ron Swanson