33 Greatest Dorothy Parker Quotes You Must Read
1. “Three be the things I shall never attain: envy, content, and sufficient champagne.” ― Dorothy Parker
2. “A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.” ― Dorothy Parker
3. “I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.” ― Dorothy Parker
4. “Four be the things I’d have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.” ― Dorothy Parker
5. “Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.” ― Dorothy Parker
6. “If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, because I do not give a damn.” ― Dorothy Parker
7. “Living well is the best revenge.” ― Dorothy Parker
8. “Take me or leave me; or, as is the usually order of things, both.” ― Dorothy Parker
9. “Their pooled emotions wouldn’t fill a teaspoon.” ― Dorothy Parker
10. “You can’t lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.” ― Dorothy Parker
11. “You think you’re frightening me with your hell, don’t you? You think your hell is worse than mine.” ― Dorothy Parker
12. “I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.” ― Dorothy Parker
13. “Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.” ― Dorothy Parker
14. “Where’s the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?” – Dorothy Parker
15. “I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.” ― Dorothy Parker
16. “This wasn’t just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.” ― Dorothy Parker
17. “Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!”
18. “I won’t telephone him. I’ll never telephone him again as long as I live. He’ll rot in hell before I’ll call him up. You don’t have to give me strength.” ― Dorothy Parker
19. When she was offended by the amount of money a producer offered her to write a script: “You can’t take it with you, and even if you did, it would probably melt.” ― Dorothy Parker
20. “Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.” ― Dorothy Parker
21. “That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.” ― Dorothy Parker
22. “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.” ― Dorothy Parker
23. “The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.” ― Dorothy Parker
24. “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” ― Dorothy Parker
25. “It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.” ― Dorothy Parker
26. “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.” ― Dorothy Parker
27. “Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.” ― Dorothy Parker
28. “Women and elephants never forget.” ― Dorothy Parker
29. “What fresh hell is this?” – Dorothy Parker
30. “If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.” ― Dorothy Parker
31. “The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘cheque enclosed.’” – Dorothy Parker
32. “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.” ― Dorothy Parker
33. “I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.” ― Dorothy Parker
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