1. “Scared isn’t a good excuse. Scared is the excuse everyone has always used.”
2. “Is the labyrinth living or dying? Which is he trying to escape—the world or the end of it?”
3. “Oh, God, Alaska, I love you. I love you,’ and the Colonel whispered, ‘I’m so sorry, Pudge. I know you did,’ and I said, ‘No. Not past tense.”
4. “Did I help you toward a fate you didn’t want, Alaska, or did I just assist in your willful self-destruction?”
5. “When adults say, “Teenagers think they are invincible” with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don’t know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.”
6. “Things never happened the way I imagined them.”
7. “It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters.”
8. “We are as indestructibleas we believe ourselves to be.”
9. “But we knew what could be found out, and in finding it out, she had made us closer—the Colonel and Takumi and me, anyway.”
10. “The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.”
11. “Francois Rabelais. He was a poet. And his last words were “I go to seek a Great Perhaps.” That’s why I’m going. So I don’t have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.”
12. “Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.”
13. “At some point we all look up and realize we are lost in a maze.”
14. “But a lot of times, people die how they live. And so last words tell me a lot about who people were, and why they became the sort of people biographies get written about. Does that make sense?”
15. “For a long time, I was mad at you. The way you cut me out of everything hurt me, and so I kept what I knew to myself. But then even after I wasn’t mad anymore, I still didn’t say anything, and I don’t even really know why. Pudge had that kiss, I guess. And I had this secret.”
16. “We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.”
17. “I would always love Alaska Young, my crooked neighbor, with all my crooked heart.”
18. “You smoke to enjoy it, I smoke to die.”
19. “Everything that comes together falls apart,’” the Old Man said. “Everything. The chair I’m sitting on. It was built, and so it will fall apart. I’m gonna fall apart, probably before this chair. And you’re gonna fall apart. The cells and organs and systems that make you you—they came together, grew together, and so must fall apart. The Buddha knew one thing science didn’t prove for millennia after his death: Entropy increases. Things fall apart.”
20. “The five of us walking confidently in a row, I’d never felt cooler. The Great Perhaps was upon us, and we were invincible. The plan may have had faults, but we did not.”
21. “And then something invisible snapped insider her, and that which had come together commenced to fall apart.”
22. “It’s fine,” I repeated. And whatever. It was fine. It had to be.”
23. “I would believe; you would believe; he or she would believe.”
24. “I mean, it’s stupid to miss someone you didn’t even get along with. But I don’t know, it was nice, you know, having someone you could always fight with.”
25. “I wanted to be one of those people who have streaks to maintain, who scorch the ground with their intensity. But for now, at least I knew such people, and they needed me, just like comets need tails.”
26. “There comes a time when we realize that our parents cannot save themselves or save us, that everyone who wades through time eventually gets dragged out to sea by the undertow – that, in short, we are all going.”
27. “we never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think think that we are invincible because we are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestation.”
28. “What you must understand about me is that I’m a deeply unhappy person.”
29. “I felt the unfairness of it, the inarguable injustice of loving someone who might have loved you back but can’t due to deadness.”
30. “Sometimes you lose a battle. But mischief always wins the war”
31. “She’s just playing a trick on us. This is just an Alaska Young Prank Extraordinaire. It’s Alaska being Alaska, funny and playful and not knowing when or how to put on the brakes.”
32. “they love their hair because they’re not smart enough to love anything more interesting”
33. “i may die young but at least ill die smart” -alaska young”
34. “I know so many last words. But I will never know hers.”
35. “That didn’t happen, of course. Things never happened the way I imagined them.”
36. “You just use the future to escape the present.” I guess that made sense.”
37. “Pudge, what you must understand about me is that I am a deeply unhappy person.”
38. “I wanted to like booze more than I actually did (which is more or less the precise opposite of how I felt about Alaska)”
39. “We need never to be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken.”
40. “The times that were most fun seemed always to be followed by sadness now, because it was when life started to feel like it did when she was with us that we realized how utterly gone she was.”
41. “I’m the motherfucking fox,” Takumi whispered, both to himself and to me. “No one catch the fox.”
42. “I realized it in waves and we held on to each other crying and I thought, God we must look so lame, but it doesn’t matter much when you have just now realized, all the time later, that you are still alive.”
43. “But for now, at least I knew such people, and they needed me, just like comets need tails.”
44. “All right. The snow may be falling in the winter of my discontent, but at least I’ve got sarcastic company.”
45. “memories fall apart too.”
46. “So we gave up. I’d finally had enough of chasing after a ghost who did not want to be seen. We’d failed, maybe, but some mysteries aren’t meant to be solved.”
47. “I thought of Florida, of my “school friends,” and realized for the first time how much I would miss the Creek if I ever had to leave it. I stared down at Takumi’s twig sticking out of the mud and said, “I swear to God I won’t rat.”
48. “I guess I stay with her because she stays with me. And that’s not an easy thing to do. I’m a bad boyfriend. She’s a bad girlfriend. We deserve each other.”
49. “But it was only hot outside, and generally I only walked outside between one air-conditioned place to another.”
50. “When you stopped wishing things wouldn’t fall apart, you’d stop suffering when they did”
51. “Ashes to ashes. Garage sale to garage sale,” I said.”
52. “You can’t burn down a made-up place.”
53. “And I said, ‘Oh God, Alaska, I love you. I love you,’ and the Colonel whispered, ‘I’m so sorry, Pudge. I know you did,’ and I said, ‘No. Not past tense.’ She wasn’t even a person anymore, just flesh rotting, but I loved her present tense.”
54. “So she became impulsive, scared by her inaction into perpetual action.”
55. “Straight and fast.”
56. “Thomas Edison’s last words were “It’s very beautiful over there”. I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful.”
57. “If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless.”
58. “I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating.”
59. “There were so many of us who would have to live with things done and things left undone that day. Things that did go right, things that seemed okay at the time because we could not see the future. If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless.”
60. “And then I screwed up and the Colonel screwed up and Takumi screwed up and she slipped through our fingers.”
61. “That which came together will fall apart imperceptibly slowly, and I will forget, but she will forgive my forgetting, just as I forgive her for forgetting me and the Colonel and everyone but herself and her mom…I know now that she forgives me for being dumb and scared and doing the dumb and scared thing. I know she forgives me, just as her mother forgives her.”
62. “We never be hopeless, beacuse we never be irrapablely broken.”
63. “Getting pissed wouldn’t fix it. Damn it.”
64. “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”
65. “She will forgive my forgetting, just as I forgive her for forgetting me and the Colonel and everyone but herself and her mom in those last moments she spent as a person.”
66. “Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. (…) You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”
67. “I came here looking for a Great Perhaps, for real friends and a more-than-minor life..”
68. “I didn’t feel like being bossed around by him, but I also didn’t feel like fighting.”
69. “Entropy increases. Things fall apart.”
70. “And in my classes, I will talk most of the time, and you will listen most of the time. Because you may be smart, but I’ve been smart longer.”
71. “Sinking. Sinking, but instead of feeling panic or anything else, I realized that “Please guys, don’t” were terrible last words.”
72. “The plan had faults, but we did not.”
73. “Was there time for her life to flash before her eyes? Was I there?”
74. “We cannot be born and we cannot die. Like all energy.”
75. “I still believe in the Great Perhaps.”
76. “I wasn’t disappointed. My expectations had been met.”
77. “Because you simply cannot draw these things out forever. At some point, you just pull off the Band-Aid and it hurts, but then it’s over and you’re relieved.”
78. “I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”
79. “Before I got here, I thought that the way out of the labyrinth was to pretend that it didn’t exist, to build a small, self-sufficient world in the back corner of the endless maze and to pretend that I was not lost, but home. But that only led to a lonely life accompanied by the last words of the already dead, so I came here looking for a Great Perhaps, for real friends and a more-than-minor life.”
80. “Why don’t we break up? I guess I stay with her because she stays with me. And that’s not an easy thing to do.”
81. “The Buddha said that suffering was caused by desire, we’d learned, and that the cessation of desire meant the cessation of suffering. When you stopped wishing things wouldn’t fall apart, you’d stop suffering when they did. ”
82. “If people were rain I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.”
83. “We didn’t talk much. But we didn’t need to.”
84. “Sometimes I don’t get you,” I said. She didn’t even glance at me. She just smiled toward the television and said, “You never get me. That’s the whole point.”
85. “I knew he was trying to help, but he didn’t get it. There was pain. A dull endless pain in my gut that wouldn’t go away even when I knelt on the stingingly frozen tile of the bathroom, dry-heaving.”
86. “But I’m going to read them all. I call it my Life’s Library. Every summer since I was little, I’ve gone to garage sales and bought all the books that looked interesting. So I always have something to read.”
87. “But my teachers had always been card-carrying members of the Miles Halter Fan Club”
88. “Jesus, I’m not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about what they’re gonna do. I’m just going to do it. Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia.”
89. “What the hell is instant? Nothing is instant. Instant rice takes five minutes, instant pudding in an hour.”
90. “Almost wished it was someone I knew, to give new form and depth to the sadness I still felt.”
91. “The only thing worse than having a party that no one attends is having a party attended only by two vastly, deeply uninteresting people.”
92. “I didn’t know whether to trust Alaska, and I’d certainly had enough of her unpredictability—cold one day, sweet the next; irresistibly flirty one moment, resistibly obnoxious the next. I preferred the Colonel: At least when he was cranky, he had a reason.”
93. “You simply cannot draw these things out forever. At some point, you just pull off the Band-Aid and it hurts, but then it’s over and you’re relieved.”
94. “God, it’s over. Takumi, you gotta stop stealing other people’s problems and get some of your own.”
95. “Oh God no. I’ve maybe read a third of ‘em. But I’m going to read them all. I call it my Life’s Library. Every summer since I was little, I’ve gone to garage sales and bought all the books that looked interesting. So I always have something to read.”
96. “She cannot possibly be dead, people do not just die”
97. “The Great Perhaps was upon us, and we were invincible.”
98. “That is the fear: I have lost something important, and I cannot find it, and I need it. It is fear like if someone lost his glasses and went to the glasses store and they told him that the world had run out of glasses and he would just have to do without.”
99. “Christmas vacation wasn’t really a vacation, on account of how it was our last chance to study for exams, which started the day after we got back.”
100. “Night falls fast. Today is in the past.”
101. “It always shocked me when I realized that I wasn’t the only person in the world who thought and felt such strange and awful things.”
102. “those awful things are survivable, because we are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be.”
103. “I don’t know where there is, but I know it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful”
104. “What would you say, today, to a kid like Alaska? You are helpful, and you are loved, and you are forgiven, and you are not alone.”
105. “I still did not know her as I wanted to, but I never could. She made it impossible for me.”
106. “I hated talking, and I hated listening to everyone else stumble on their words so they wouldn’t sound dumb, and I hated how it was all just a game of trying to figure out what the teacher wanted to hear and then saying it. I’m in a class, so teach me.”
107. “I go to seek a Great Perhaps. That’s why I’m going. So I don’t have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.”
108. “That’s why I’m going. So I don’t have to wait to die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.”
109. “I’ve always loved quiet people; you never know if they are dancing in the daydream or if they are carrying the weight of the world.”
110. “I’d rather wonder than get answers I couldn’t live with.”
111. “I was caught in a love triangle with one dead side.”
112. “there is no best and no worst, …those judgments have no real meaning because there is only what is”
113. “I have guts, just not when it counts.”
114. “Ask me if I give a shit.”
115. “You can’t just make yourself matter and then die, Alaska, because now I am irretrievably different.”
116. “How will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?”
117. “You can’t just make me different, and the leave. Because I was fine before.”
118. “People, I thought, wanted security. They couldn’t bear the idea of death being a big black nothing, couldn’t bear the thought of their loved ones not existing, and couldn’t even imagine themselves not existing. I finally decided that people believed in an afterlife because they couldn’t bear not to.”
119. “We are greater than the sum of our parts.”
120. “Maybe “the afterlife” is just to make our time in the labyrinth bearable.”
121. “Here’s a tip: you’re cute when you’re confident. And less when you’re not.”
122. “Before I got here, I thought for a long time that the way out of the labyrinth was to pretend that it did not exist, to build a small, self-sufficient world in the back corner of the endless maze and to pretend that I was not lost, but home.”
123. “How will I ever get out of this labyrinth!” to a margin note written in her loop-heavy cursive: Straight & Fast.”
124. “I’m really not up for answering any questions that start with how, when, where, why or what.”
125. “I kept it for myself like a keepsake, as if sharing the memory might lead to its dissipation.”
126. “It’s not life or death, the labyrinth. Suffering. Doing wrong and having wrong things happen to you. That’s the problem. Bolivar was talking about the pain, not about the living or dying. How do you get out of the labyrinth of suffering?.”
127. “Prick us, we bleed. Prick him, he pops.”
128. “So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane.”
129. “Oh God, Alaska, I love you, I love you.”
130. “Not the brightest gem in the jewelry shop, but you’ve got to admire his single-minded dedication to drug abuse.”
131. “Nothing is instant. Instant rice takes five minutes, instant pudding an hour. I doubt that an instant of blinding pain feels particularly instantaneous.”
132. “People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason the world is in chaos, is because things are being loved and people are being used.”
133. “After all this time, it seems to me like straight and fast is the only way out, but I choose the labyrinth. The labyrinth blows, but I choose it.”
134. “I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep… But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.”
135. “In the beginning, she had hauted me, haunted my dreams, but even now, just weeks later, she was slipping away, falling apart in my memory and everyone else’s, dying again.”
136. “and anyway, “listening quietly” was my general social strategy”
137. “I loved her present tense.”
138. “I sat back down on the couch, between my mom and my dad, and my dad put his arm around me, and we stayed there like that, quiet on the couch together, for a long time, until it seemed okay to turn on the TV, and then we ate artichoke dip for dinner and watched the History Channel, and as going-away parties go, it certainly could have been worse.”
139. “Ya think you’s walkin’ on water, but turns out you just got piss in your shoes.”
140. “it was worth it to leave behind my minor life for grander maybes,”
141. “But I wasn’t convinced enlightenment struck like lightning.”
142. “I am going to take this bucket of water and pour it on the flames of hell, and then I am going to use this torch to burn down the gates of paradise so that people will not love God for want of heaven or fear of hell, but because He is God.”
143. “When you stop wishing things wouldn’t fall apart, you stop suffering when they do.”
144. “NEVER USE HIGHLITER IN MY BOOKS”
145. “Ya’all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die.”
146. “But i doesn’t much matter when you have just now realised, all the time later, that you are still alive.”
147. “Because memories fall apart, too. And you’re left with nothing.”
148. “This is unbearable … God. These books she’ll never read. Her Life’s Library.”
149. “No reason to be angry. Anger just distracts from the all-encompassing sadness, the frank knowledge that you killed her and robbed her of a future and a life. Getting pissed wouldn’t fix it.”
150. “And if the Colonel thought that calling me his friend would make me stand by him, well, he was right.”
151. “I never liked writing concluding paragraphs to papers – where you just repeat what you’ve already said with phrases like In summation, and To conclude…”
152. “I still believe in the Great Perhaps, and I can believe in it in spite of having lost her.”
153. “There are always answers. We just have to be smart enough.”
154. “Because memories fall apart, too. And then you’re left with nothing, left not even with a ghost but with its shadow.”
155. “I don’t understand why you’re so obsessed with figuring out everything that happens here, like we have to unravel every mystery.”
156. “It’s the eternal struggle, Pudge. The good versus the naughty. …
157. “It is a law that parents should not have to bury their children. And someone should enforce it.”
158. “They love their hair because they’re not smart enough to love something more interesting”
159. “We had to forgive to survive in the labyrinth”
160. “I may die young, but at least I’ll die smart.”
161. “She was up and down—from fire and brimstone to smoke and ashes.”
162. “The snow may be falling in the winter of my discontent, but at least I’ve got sarcastic company.”
163. “More than anything, I felt the unfairness of it, the inarguable injustice of loving someone who might have loved you back but can’t due to deadness,”
164. “I might have hasked a question…, except that 1. I didn’t know what it was, and 2. I didn’t care to learn, and 3. I never really excelled in small talk.”
165. “Don’t you know who you love, Pudge? You love the girl who makes you laugh and shows you porn and drinks wine with you. You don’t love the crazy, sullen bitch.”
166. “And I agreed, but still, she owed us an explanation. If she was up there, down there, out there, somewhere, maybe she would laugh.”
167. “You’re awfully philosophical for a girl that just got busted.”
168. “At some point, you just pull off the Band-Aid, and it hurts, but then it’s over and you’re relieved.”
169. “For she had embodied the Great Perhaps–she had proved to me that it was worth it to leave behind my minor life for grander maybes, and now she was gone and with her my faith in perhaps.”
170. “Principled hate is a hell of a lot stronger than “Boy, I wish you hadn’t mummified me and thrown me into the lake” hate.”