23 Steven Wright Quotes That You Must Read Now
1. “It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.” – Steven Wright
2. “The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.” – Steven Wright
3. “The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.” – Steven Wright
4. “The judge asked, “What do you plead?” I said, “Insanity, your honor, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?” ― Steven Wright
5. “I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.” – Steven Wright
6. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” – Steven Wright
7. “The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.” – Steven Wright
8. “Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.” – Steven Wright
9. “If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.” – Steven Wright
10. “Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.” – Steven Wright
11. “If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?” – Steven Wright
12. “Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, “Wish you were here.” ― Steven Wright
13. “What’s another word for Thesaurus?” – Steven Wright
14. “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.” – Steven Wright
15. “The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.” – Steven Wright
16. “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Steven Wright
17. “In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above…so I never have to go upstairs.” – Steven Wright
18. “If you write the word “monkey” a million times, do you start to think you’re Shakespeare?” – Steven Wright
19. “What happens if you get scared half to death twice?” – Steven Wright
20. “If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.” – Steven Wright
21. “If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?” – Steven Wright
22. “When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.” – Steven Wright
23. “If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.” – Steven Wright
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